Dear Diary,
Do you even like me?
Do you even love me?
I feel ignored. It’s as if I am ignored, it doesn’t even matter.
I’ve never thought about a 'love language' until recently. I don’t feel 'loved'. I don’t know how I should 'feel' loved. But I feel like I’m chasing love.
I don’t feel like we are loving each other. I feel like I am all give. I think you would disagree. And that’s ok. But I am willing to go anywhere.
I make you coffee. I make food. I do anything I can to get you to engage with me.
To notice me.
This isn’t a recent feeling.
I may not always buy the food. I may not always run the errands. I definitely don’t always clean, but by God I try. I try to fight for this relationship.
You may not agree, but I think you realize after getting a full-time job that marriage is not something that can be done easily. It takes work. Hard work.
What I want is you. 100%. I chase you. I will always chase you. Life certainly gets in the way. Certainly, I get in my own way in that pursuit. But I don’t stop in my chase. I hate that I get in my own way. But I do.
I’m sorry.
This is not meant as an attack.
This is meant as a plea. I miss you.
I feel like you are pulling away.
I want you.
I need you.
I just don’t know what to do. I should, but I don’t.
Help us.
Love, Me
Dear Diary,
I wish they could see how great of a spouse they are. How great of a parent they are. How great of a friend they are. How great of a person they are. They are one of the most genuine individuals I’ve ever met and I couldn’t be more thankful to be a part of their life. To get the opportunity to watch them grow as a spouse and a parent is beyond words. The effort they put into everything every day doesn’t go unnoticed.
The kind words they say.
The warmth they bring.
The joy their smile creates.
I feel that they are sad. Potentially feeling abandoned. Alone. They are not alone. I want to shout from the rooftops that we are here and they are important.
I see them fighting for love. For the relationship to last. For forever to exist. I want to tell them to keep fighting. Keep fighting through this tough time. Keep being honest with how they feel to their spouse and ensure a clear line of communication exists. A safe space for a married couple to exist in and be honest in. A space to share what wants are wanted. What needs are needed. What type of love is loved.
Their efforts are appreciated. Their love is held on to. Their laugh is contagious. Their kids are happy. They are loved. They are enough.
Be bold.
Be brave.
Be honest.
Keep loving until the end of days.
But always stay true to yourself.
Know your limits.
Know your wants.
Know your needs.
Love,
Your Friend
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